Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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