i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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