Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
