her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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