we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
