I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
