So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
