what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize