Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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