Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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