...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
