Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
