i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize