Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
