so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
