It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
