Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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