Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
