I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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