i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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