I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
