He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
