I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
