I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Randomize
