cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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