he puts the penis in happiness.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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