btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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