hotel room ftw
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
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