did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i came on her dog
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
