Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
