I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
