I just pynch a tree in the face
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
