You work out of a Hotel?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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