tell your sister to shave her snatch
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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