I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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