Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
