Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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