i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
