She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
A+ Viking dick
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
