she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
