Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
