She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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