I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
