Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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