She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Well I just put wine in my tea
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Randomize
