Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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