Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
