I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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