I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
And then he peed in my hair
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