I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
